How to Do a Home Exchange
In 1990 AlteCocker wanted to take her kids to Europe without breaking the bank at Monte Carlo. She read a piece about home exchanging in the AAA magazine and was sold on the idea. She had to convince her then husband, but we did end up on our first exchange--to a nondescript town outside of London--that year and the bank survived. There are some basic rules to being successful at this wonderful way of vacationing:
1. Sign up with the right exchange service. A lot of people like homeexchange.com but AlteCocker hated it when she joined for a year. AlteCocker thinks Ed Kushins, guy who runs it, is basically in it for the money and isn't really interested in teaching people how to do a home exchange; the site spends an awful lot of money taking its staff on exotic vacations. There have also been reports that Kushins automatically renews people's memberships without asking--and then refuses to return money when the people ask for it back. AlteCocker suspects he does this to put more money in his pockets and inflates his statistics by including all the people who have left since he began his service. Despite the alleged numbers, homeexchange.com is not, in AlteCocker's opinion, even close to the quality of sites AlteCocker does recommend (see below). On homeexchange.com you see incomplete listings and people who have unreasonable requests--i.e., "I only want to go to Tel Aviv on these dates because I already have my ticket." AlteCocker is sure, with a handful of homes in Israel, the person making that request came up empty handed (never mind that she had fixed dates). It is the responsibility of any reputable service, in my view, to spend time teaching new people how to do it and not just fill the home page with photos of homes with pools. Not everyone is going to get a home with a pool. AlteCocker has had one a couple of times but a pool to her is not important now that she has reached the stage of kidless travel. What is important is location and compatibility with people who answer email. When a site is full of "newbies" who are inexperienced, you get tons of people who really do not know what they want.
You want a site that has thousands of members and has many experienced people--and, insofar as AlteCocker, knows NO INFLATED STATISTICS. For that AlteCocker recommends , Homelink.org and Intervac.com. Homelink has 30,000 members and Intervac 13,000. AlteCocker has belonged to both since 1990 (they are the oldest home exchange services--not homeexchange.com) and they have served her well. Newer home exchange services, such as homeexchange.com often have slicker websites but a very confused membership. Moreover, not too long ago homeexchange.com rolled out a new site. When the site rapidly broke down, members received an email stating that it worked fine until people began to use it. Huh? It left the members furious--especially since everyone in homeexchange.com's office took off for Italy as soon as the site was rolled out and took too long to deal with the problems. As AlteCocker said, for Ed Kushins it is all about the money and not about service to his members. The site also contains way too many rentals in its mix--especially many of the so-called exchange homes in Asia, Africa & Latin America. Personally, when AlteCocker left homeexchange.com after a year, she had a terrible time getting them to delete her listing and got incessant email after she quit asking her to rejoin; they finally gave up. AlteCocker made the mistake of clicking on the site recently and immediately email began again. AlteCocker did "unsubscribe" fairly rapidly, but she never subscribed in the first place. Apparently just looking generates an inundation of email.
Homelink and Intervac have always worked for AlteCocker; in 2013 she also joined homeFORexchange.com (which had a very good deal on 3 year memberships and comes highly recommended by a number of friends who are active exchanges), but hasn't gotten much out of her membership. She sees no reason to experiment with newer services--some of which are higher priced and all of which have relatively inexperienced memberships. For 2014 AlteCocker had 2 exchanges in Poland from Intervac, 1 in Istabul from Homelink and finally 1 in Stockholm from Intervac. All of her 60 completed exchanges came from either Homelink or Intervac (except one in Wimberly, Texas, that she got from answering a home exchange question online). For 2015 she had an exchange in Martinique through Homelink and has one coming up in Spain through Intervac.
Some people will sometimes string you along and then disappear--and all the sites are full of new unsure people (or, in the case of homeexchange.com, perhaps the dear departed). Most infuriating is to have someone solicit you for an exchange, you accept, and then the person says he is reviewing other offers--or several weeks later he informs you he got a "better offer" and, sorry, he is not exchanging with you. That is particularly infuriating if you have turned down others in the interim. Home exchange etiquette: If you solicit someone for an exchange, and he accepts, you accept; you should not solicit people if you are unsure you really want their house. If people are going to go on fishing expeditions, they will end up with angry exchangers who will write them off their lists forever as a home exchange possibility. When AlteCocker is the solicitor, she takes the first one through the gate who accepts and the business is over and done with even if a "better" offer turns up later.
Also, beware of of home exchange services promoting themselves as "luxury" services. They just charge more, have fewer listings, and do not inspect the homes. In fact, no one inspects the homes from any service. Home exchange is based on trust, not on home inspections. Similarly, AlteCocker is suspicious of sites like Love Home Swap that advertise that they do both home exchanges and rentals; sites that do that often turn into basically a vacation home rental service. There are occasionally people on even the best of the home exchange sites that list merely to troll to rent their vacation places. If you want to exchange, you do not want to plow through tons rental listings to come up with the odd listing for an exchange. Sign up with a service that is focused on home exchanges. Personally, AlteCocker usually does not exchange for vacation properties only but will be happy to use one if it is "thrown in" with the main house. You've rented vacation homes, right? Not exactly like someone's principal residence, is it?
Another thing to avoid are home exchange services that do not show you their numbers of members without having you give them personal information. Deviousness concerning just how many members are on the sites is very common.
Also beware of home exchange services that self promote on twitter by having a series of "Oh this site looks great" posts put up by people who have never done a home exchange and then defend themselves by saying they were "guest posts". Home exchange services forced to hustle properties on twitter really are telling you that people are not getting deals on the site and use twitter to increase their deal rate because they are desperate. Of course, people who do not get deals end up leaving.
Remember that anyone parading himself around online as a "home exchange expert" is only as good as his personal knowledge. There is some looney advice online about exchanges. AlteCocker is only as good as her personal knowledge as well. AlteCocker has seen people post lists of "recommended home exchange services". Have they joined them all? Probably not, as it would be a significant expenditure of cash. They should say which ones they joined--and where their exchanges came from--and how they chose the home exchange services that made their lists. But, remember, your experience might be totally different. Any service from which YOU get an exchange is a good fit for you even if AlteCocker thinks its a waste of time or that the guy who runs it is, well, a shyster.
A mention here to Guardian Home Exchange which would be a good bit for North Americans wanting to go to the UK, as the overwhelming number of listings are in the UK. You want a service that maximizes your personal chances for success. Before AlteCocker signed up with homeforexchange.com, she researched and noted that there were a lot more Europeans than US residents on the site--perfect for US residents, but less so if you live in Europe and want to come to the US.
There is a site called Know Your Trade that attempts to help us all out by comparing all the home exchange sites. AlteCocker has no idea how up to date its information is (one home exchange service told me the statistics were over 3 years out of date), but at least it is a start. See below for comments another newer site which has attempted to do the same thing. Other sites which say they are comparing the various sites have glaring omissions. If Homelink and Intervac are not on page 1--or admitted altogether--beware. The statistics on the other alleged comparison sites appear to be totally inaccurate as well; in fact AlteCocker wonders if some of these sites aren't taking baksheesh to promote some of the services ballyhooed. The array of exchange services, each claiming to be the "best", can be daunting to even experienced exchangers. After her bad experience with homeexchange.com, this AlteCocker stuck with the two services that have never failed her and abandoned looking into all the services that have popped up since then with the recent exception of homeFORexchange.com
If you have a fixed location in mind, you might want to research the home exchange site before signing up to see how many homes are actually in that location before signing up. Sign up with the service that has the most homes there. However, for some locations--such as Africa, Asia, and Latin America--home exchange does not really work at all due to the few listings. Eastern Europe also has relatively few homes listed as well.
2. Be open to all destinations. After 60 exchanges AlteCocker has been all over the US and Europe and done 3 trips combining multiple exchanges to Australia and New Zealand. Don't get overly focused on big international cities. Even if you really want Paris, be open to alternatives. Ever try driving in a large city to get to a side trip out of town? It can be much easier if you are in the suburbs. Chances are you are not going to get an apartment next to The Louvre if you score Paris. You'll be outside the city or on the edge of it--where most people live (and you certainly will not get a pool; in Paris many live in large closets compared to American size apartments). See that photo of me above? AlteCocker is hiking in Finland. Her exchange that year was in Lahti, Finland--an hour north of Helsinki. A friend of my exchangers--with whom AlteCocker is still in contact--arranged the hike. To explore Helsinki, AlteCocker booked a hotel room there for a few days before returning home. AlteCocker had a great time and was very lucky to get the exchange because compared to the US, very few people live in Finland.
3. Do not expect equity. An equivalent to a large American home is not what you will get in Europe. Most of homes there are smaller than the norm in North America--and they certainly do not have as many bathrooms--or air conditioning. AlteCocker, in fact, has never had a home in Europe with air conditioning--and even in large hotels it is often not up to American standards. The showers often have lousy pressure and can spray water all over the bathroom. In Europe homes often have washers (usually teeny), but the dryer is the clothes line. What are you doing in Europe anyway? You will not be having a wedding or bar mitzvah in your home exchange home. You are exchanging locations for tourism. Home exchange vacations are a combination of heavy tourism, exploring the town you end up in and just hanging out when you get too exhausted.
4. If you are going to Europe, know how to drive a shift car. While automatics are more common in Europe than they used to be, manuals are still the norm. Chances are you will be shifting and it is a lot easier if you know to do it in advance. Take it easy with the car for the first few days until you get the hang of it. It might be a left hand shift in the UK. AlteCocker even had one of those in Australia where automatics are the norm.
5. Be a self starter. Believe me, everyone has nerves at the beginning of a home exchange--even experienced exchangers. You won't have a concierge to turn to when something goes wrong--and things will go wrong. AlteCocker does remember fixing a French shower once. Since she has basic home repair skills, the hardest bit was finding the tools. If there is a car problem (more common than a home repair problem), you will have to find out where to repair it. In Salamanca AlteCocker had to arrange for her own car in the US to be jump started because the French people left something on in the car and ran down the battery (she started an insurance claim with her insurer over the internet and then had a neighbor call the insurance company with the claim number). There is no car rental company to call to switch cars--and not all exchangers will provide you with complete information. In Europe your car might not be as large, moreover, as the one you have at home (and you will pay a lot more for gas).
6. Be prepared to get lost finding your home after you've been out on an excursion. In the days before GPS, this is always the first thing that happened on every exchange. In 2012 in Norway, with a street that had complicated access, it took AlteCocker an hour to find the house. Thank goodness for a friendly neighborhood lady or she might still be driving around looking for that house. It should have taken me 5 minutes. There are plenty of signs for tourist attractions but none that say, "Turn left. You live there." Also be prepared to get confused on smaller roads in the countryside that are not as well marked--especially if driving at night. Overall, though, signage is better in Europe than in the US. In 2013 AlteCocker finally licked the "getting lost" problem by purchasing a European GPS for about $200. Please note that rental car agencies often charge 15 euros a day to rent a GPS.
7. If you have children, look for other families with children your ages. AlteCocker does remember her son running through a house in Nova Scotia to claim the bedroom with the video game system. You want the house to fit your family. Many retired people will not exchange with families. AlteCocker is not one of those because she thinks it is too limiting and she would miss out on a lot of deals if she did that. She no longer, however, favors exchanges with those who have babies or toddlers because she simply does not have the equipment and families of very young children really would not be happy in her home for that reason. School age children are fine so long as her exchange family understands there are no toys or video games here (although still tons of stuffed animals which they are welcome to take--all of them). People with babies should exchange with others with babies. They can cart a lot less "stuff" that way. In 2014 AlteCocker wanted a home in Italy near Venice so she accepted a baby--and went through the job of gathering things for them (e.g., a crib would be borrowed from neighbors). Then they cancelled. She is just not doing the 0-4 kids anymore.
8. The more demands you put on your exchangers, the harder it will be to get an exchange. AlteCocker does not do cats and dogs. She was once even asked about a horse! She doesn't do horses either. The most AlteCocker will do is throw fish food in a tank and fish out the dead ones with a net (pun intended) and flush. Period. For AlteCocker pet care is a deal breaker. If you want pet care, look for people with similar needs--and do not "spring" pets on people at the last minute. She will also not exchange for vacation (secondary) homes that are often full of cast off items or run down.
9. Include your car. In fact, unless she is in the center a major city with good public transportation, AlteCocker insists on a car. Without one, you will end up renting a car or being trapped in your home away from home. If you are an American, your insurance covers everyone driving a car with your permission. AlteCocker leaves a note in the glove box in case there is an accident. Your insurance could take a "hit" if an exchanger is responsible for an accident--and vice versa. Each party is responsible for the other party's deductible if there is an accident and you or your exchanger is at fault. By the way, AlteCocker does not inform her car insurance company unless something happens because this exchange thing makes them nervous--and she does a lot of home exchanges. The last "event" AlteCocker had was with a New Zealand family in 2008 when someone backed into her car in a parking lot. The car was repaired while AlteCocker was away and she dealt with as much as she could over the internet. At the end of the day, when money was collected from the other person's insurer, the New Zealanders even received money back on the deductible from AlteCocker, but it did take some months.
10. Build a good relationship with your exchange family. Some are good at email and some are not. Sometimes the poor communicators have poor English skills. Sometimes, however, the poor communication is a result of people having second thoughts about exchanging; if you think that is going on, don't be shy about confronting the exchangers; the last thing you want is a cancellation after you have nonrefundable airline tickets. Write in simple English and, remember, you generally speak their language less well than they speak English. If the communication is good, you will get over the feeling that the exchangers are strangers by the time of the exchange. They will turn from strangers to friends--even if you never meet them.
11. Do a comprehensive book on your home so that, if something happens, home exchangers will know who to call. After 60 exchanges, there have been misadventures with home repairs and cars on both ends. It helps to have a list of whom to call for what, so that you don't end up with frantic emails and telephone calls. Leaving 2-3 pages with incomplete instructions (and that has happened to AlteCocker several times) is just not fair to your exchangers. Leaving unrepaired quirky appliances is not kosher either--and they will only cause a flurry of email during the exchange. Even the best maintained homes can have unexpected problems, but deal with the problems you know about IN ADVANCE; if a hot water heater, for example, constantly turns itself off, fix or replace it. If an appliance is "quirky" explain, for example, that the washing machine door may have to be pushed an extra time before the washer starts. Don't wait for the frantic email about needing a repairman. Know it well that appliances overseas work differently from those in North America. And please leave directions for complicated TV systems with a number of remotes. They cause so many problems.
12. Consider doing an exchange within your own country first. AlteCocker has a theory that no 2 European washers work the same way (same for the toilets). Europeans will be similarly confused by yours. Make it easy for yourself. Especially with children, it is far easier (and cheaper) to schlep them to someplace within your own country rather than pay hefty international airfares to get your feet wet. OK, AlteCocker went to England the first time, but she should have taken her own advice here.
13. Be prepared for problems. Not every home is what AlteCocker would call clean. Total slobs and obsessive compulsive cleaners really should not be in the home exchange business. AlteCocker is what she call "relaxedly clean". That is what you should be too if you are going to be successful at this. You should clean your home thoroughly before the exchange. AlteCocker does not mean dumping out every drawer in the kitchen and scrubbing it. AlteCocker has had some really unacceptable homes. Recently she had a home in Sydney, Australia, where the clothes drying rack was placed in an unused jacuzzi. OK, AlteCocker wasn't planning to use the jacuzzi, but the bottom of the jacuzzi was absolutely full of dead flies that clearly had been there for a long time; if clothes fell off the rack they would join the dead flies. Yuk. AlteCocker did not clean out the flies. She moved the clothes drying rack into the living room and dried her clothes there, but the dead flies should have been cleaned up (and, if necessary, the exterminator called) before the exchange. Once the exchange begins, however, you are stuck if you get a "dead fly"/dirty place--and all experienced exchangers have stories like this. If a so-called "home exchange expert" says that she has never had a problem in a dozen or so exchanges, she is not getting out much--or, worse, is lying to promote a specific home exchange service or herself. In Australia, AlteCocker got out of the house and went sightseeing and simply ignored what she did not like. She would not, of course, give the house a good reference if ever asked.
14. Do not put too much faith in the photos people put up on their listing pages. No one's home looks bad in the photos. Packrats move the junk to one side and take a photo. Then they move the junk to the other side and take a photo. When you get to the house, you see all the junk. All houses, presumably, have beds, kitchens, showers/baths and toilets. Quite frankly, AlteCocker does not even look at the photos until after an exchange has been agreed to. Small or large, she doesn't care. She is looking for location. If the house isn't perfect, well AlteCocker has stayed in a lot of imperfect hotels. No number of photos will tell her whether or not the people are clean--which is a greater concern to AlteCocker than whether they have new furniture, stylish antiques or a newly redone kitchen. The photos also do not reveal whether the home is need of major repairs either. You find that out only after you arrive. Personally, AlteCocker really doesn't "get" people who take expensive international vacations and do not fix major problems their homes, but it does happen. People simply have different priorities.
15. Try dealing with an experienced home exchange partner the first time. Many of them do not want to be bothered with new people, but experienced exchangers will walk you through the process--and deal with your case of "first timer nerves". AlteCocker deals with new people all the time even though they can drive her crazy. That's one reason she is posting this. She'll have a place for them to go to where the advice is all in one place--and she won't have to deal with the same questions over and over again. AlteCocker's home exchangers in Taby, Sweden, in 2012 were new and nervous. There were a lot of emails. With one exchange under your belt, you will be helping others.
16. Don't get fixated on one location. If you must get Tuscany or Provence in August, rent a place. People that live in those locations either use their places in August or rent them out for hefty fees. There are plenty of other places you go. Europeans tend to fixate on Manhattan or San Francisco (much as Americans fixate on Paris and London). Home exchange depends on mutual need. People in Manhattan get inundated with offers. Expand your sights to Long Island, New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania & Massachusetts. Then do a short hotel stay in NYC if you must and do not get an exchange in NYC.
Living in the Washington, DC, area, as AlteCocker does, she get plenty of offers, but she always says that she gets the overflow from Manhattan. Many people living in Manhattan, by the way, live in condominiums or cooperatives whose rules usually prevent sublets and home exchanges. Europeans are going to have to take another look at the suburbs and/or other locations because there are simply few available places in New York City that are available. None of my home exchangers have ever gotten an exchange in New York City--although they all have tried. AlteCocker refers them to a hotel I like that is reasonable: The Pod Hotel. They all end up there if they must spend time in New York City. Personally, AlteCocker has tried to get a short (1-2 week) home exchange in New York City for years without success herself.
While foreigners are obsessed with New York, of course, Americans are obsessed with Paris. If you don't get Paris, look for other destinations. Paris will come your way eventually--perhaps when you have abandoned looking for it. Yes, AlteCocker has been to Paris--the year when she was looking to go to the US' Pacific Northwest.
17. Do not despair if you live in a less touristed location. Do you have a lake where children could go swimming? How about tennis and golf? Many people just want to relax on vacation and not run around all over checking off tourist sites. Every location has advantages and plenty to do for a week or two. Isn't there a reason why you live where you do? AlteCocker is always looking for places she has not been within the US. How about Missouri? You could visit the Mark Twain sites. She has wanted an exchange there for years for just that reason, but it has never happened. New Orleans anyone? AlteCocker has never been there either.
18. Be prepared for a lot of rejections and people who cannot make up their minds. You should respond to all email even to just decline, but many do not. It can be very frustrating for first timers as they learn the ropes, but home exchange depends on mutual need. AlteCocker estimates that only one in 10 of her inquiries results in an indication of interest. Most on Homelink and Intervac will respond even if to say "no thanks". At this point, after many years of exchanging, AlteCocker rarely takes the initiative because she is lazy, but just picks and chooses from those who write to her; she also crafts her listing to attract deals that she may want. Home exchanges can come in at any time and she jumps on it right away if it is interesting. Her recent deal in Martinique happened that way--a surprise exchange. He who hesitates, loses the exchange. Intervac does have a nice feature where you can see who has been visiting your page. AlteCocker sometimes writes to the "lookers" to see if they are really interested. Most don't turn into exchanges, but occasionally one does.
19. Consider "local" exchanges where everyone drives. AlteCocker loves those, but few are interested. She has been to Colonial Williamsburg 3 times; Ottawa, Ontario; Myrtle Beach, South Carolina; a couple of destinations in Massachusetts and Halifax, Nova Scotia. Because everyone drives, "local" exchanges are almost cost free vacations, and--unlike ones that involve airfare--can be set up even at the last minute. They are also easy to cancel if the weather does not cooperate or someone gets sick (something retired people with long term problems need to consider).
20. Cancellations do happen. Cancelling after nonrefudable airline tickets are purchased is not kosher. No matter what the excuse, you need to find alternative accommodations for your exchange family if illness prevents you from going. AlteCocker had this situation in 2012 when a previously fractured and repaired arm decided to spontaneously refracture 10 days before the vacation. The options weren't pretty, but she postponed major surgery until after the trip and went to Scandinavia with a broken arm. She had 2 home exchange families depending upon her and she wasn't willing to cost them piles of money by walking out on the deals. AlteCocker never would consider stiffing her exchangers because a home exchange vacation is not a normal vacation where you can cancel and reschedule. You have a responsibility to the other family or families. It wasn't the best way to have a vacation with an unset fractured arm in a sling, but it was cheaper than cancelling AlteCocker's end of the trip and moving out of her home so the other families could have their vacations. Surgery occurred as soon as she returned.
If you are interested in further information about home exchanging, please check here for long term home exchanges, here for information on how to find your home exchange, here for how to prepare your home for exchange, and here for the nasty side of home exchanging. For an amusing take on home exchanging, check out this piece on the nomadwallet site. Why is AlteCocker pushing someone else's piece? Blah. It contains an interview of AlteCocker.
AlteCocker will come back and add things as she thinks of them, but do get started. The time is now to start looking for the summer of 2016 if you want to exchange overseas; in fact, you may already be late to the party. AlteCocker has her deals for July-August 2016 (Iceland and Italy) as well is a 2 weeker in California in April. AlteCocker never stops looking. One day you have nothing. The next you have great deals. She will be going to Iceland and Italy--a crazy combination but she has never had a combination where the exchanges are next to one another.
A blog has been added to the end of this page so that you can discuss specific home exchange issues here: blog.
On Facebook, AlteCocker has established a home exchange discussion group that will not include anyone who works for a home exchange service. It does without saying, that the site is for serious discussions and not for people who want to throw barbs at others. It can be found here.
1. Sign up with the right exchange service. A lot of people like homeexchange.com but AlteCocker hated it when she joined for a year. AlteCocker thinks Ed Kushins, guy who runs it, is basically in it for the money and isn't really interested in teaching people how to do a home exchange; the site spends an awful lot of money taking its staff on exotic vacations. There have also been reports that Kushins automatically renews people's memberships without asking--and then refuses to return money when the people ask for it back. AlteCocker suspects he does this to put more money in his pockets and inflates his statistics by including all the people who have left since he began his service. Despite the alleged numbers, homeexchange.com is not, in AlteCocker's opinion, even close to the quality of sites AlteCocker does recommend (see below). On homeexchange.com you see incomplete listings and people who have unreasonable requests--i.e., "I only want to go to Tel Aviv on these dates because I already have my ticket." AlteCocker is sure, with a handful of homes in Israel, the person making that request came up empty handed (never mind that she had fixed dates). It is the responsibility of any reputable service, in my view, to spend time teaching new people how to do it and not just fill the home page with photos of homes with pools. Not everyone is going to get a home with a pool. AlteCocker has had one a couple of times but a pool to her is not important now that she has reached the stage of kidless travel. What is important is location and compatibility with people who answer email. When a site is full of "newbies" who are inexperienced, you get tons of people who really do not know what they want.
You want a site that has thousands of members and has many experienced people--and, insofar as AlteCocker, knows NO INFLATED STATISTICS. For that AlteCocker recommends , Homelink.org and Intervac.com. Homelink has 30,000 members and Intervac 13,000. AlteCocker has belonged to both since 1990 (they are the oldest home exchange services--not homeexchange.com) and they have served her well. Newer home exchange services, such as homeexchange.com often have slicker websites but a very confused membership. Moreover, not too long ago homeexchange.com rolled out a new site. When the site rapidly broke down, members received an email stating that it worked fine until people began to use it. Huh? It left the members furious--especially since everyone in homeexchange.com's office took off for Italy as soon as the site was rolled out and took too long to deal with the problems. As AlteCocker said, for Ed Kushins it is all about the money and not about service to his members. The site also contains way too many rentals in its mix--especially many of the so-called exchange homes in Asia, Africa & Latin America. Personally, when AlteCocker left homeexchange.com after a year, she had a terrible time getting them to delete her listing and got incessant email after she quit asking her to rejoin; they finally gave up. AlteCocker made the mistake of clicking on the site recently and immediately email began again. AlteCocker did "unsubscribe" fairly rapidly, but she never subscribed in the first place. Apparently just looking generates an inundation of email.
Homelink and Intervac have always worked for AlteCocker; in 2013 she also joined homeFORexchange.com (which had a very good deal on 3 year memberships and comes highly recommended by a number of friends who are active exchanges), but hasn't gotten much out of her membership. She sees no reason to experiment with newer services--some of which are higher priced and all of which have relatively inexperienced memberships. For 2014 AlteCocker had 2 exchanges in Poland from Intervac, 1 in Istabul from Homelink and finally 1 in Stockholm from Intervac. All of her 60 completed exchanges came from either Homelink or Intervac (except one in Wimberly, Texas, that she got from answering a home exchange question online). For 2015 she had an exchange in Martinique through Homelink and has one coming up in Spain through Intervac.
Some people will sometimes string you along and then disappear--and all the sites are full of new unsure people (or, in the case of homeexchange.com, perhaps the dear departed). Most infuriating is to have someone solicit you for an exchange, you accept, and then the person says he is reviewing other offers--or several weeks later he informs you he got a "better offer" and, sorry, he is not exchanging with you. That is particularly infuriating if you have turned down others in the interim. Home exchange etiquette: If you solicit someone for an exchange, and he accepts, you accept; you should not solicit people if you are unsure you really want their house. If people are going to go on fishing expeditions, they will end up with angry exchangers who will write them off their lists forever as a home exchange possibility. When AlteCocker is the solicitor, she takes the first one through the gate who accepts and the business is over and done with even if a "better" offer turns up later.
Also, beware of of home exchange services promoting themselves as "luxury" services. They just charge more, have fewer listings, and do not inspect the homes. In fact, no one inspects the homes from any service. Home exchange is based on trust, not on home inspections. Similarly, AlteCocker is suspicious of sites like Love Home Swap that advertise that they do both home exchanges and rentals; sites that do that often turn into basically a vacation home rental service. There are occasionally people on even the best of the home exchange sites that list merely to troll to rent their vacation places. If you want to exchange, you do not want to plow through tons rental listings to come up with the odd listing for an exchange. Sign up with a service that is focused on home exchanges. Personally, AlteCocker usually does not exchange for vacation properties only but will be happy to use one if it is "thrown in" with the main house. You've rented vacation homes, right? Not exactly like someone's principal residence, is it?
Another thing to avoid are home exchange services that do not show you their numbers of members without having you give them personal information. Deviousness concerning just how many members are on the sites is very common.
Also beware of home exchange services that self promote on twitter by having a series of "Oh this site looks great" posts put up by people who have never done a home exchange and then defend themselves by saying they were "guest posts". Home exchange services forced to hustle properties on twitter really are telling you that people are not getting deals on the site and use twitter to increase their deal rate because they are desperate. Of course, people who do not get deals end up leaving.
Remember that anyone parading himself around online as a "home exchange expert" is only as good as his personal knowledge. There is some looney advice online about exchanges. AlteCocker is only as good as her personal knowledge as well. AlteCocker has seen people post lists of "recommended home exchange services". Have they joined them all? Probably not, as it would be a significant expenditure of cash. They should say which ones they joined--and where their exchanges came from--and how they chose the home exchange services that made their lists. But, remember, your experience might be totally different. Any service from which YOU get an exchange is a good fit for you even if AlteCocker thinks its a waste of time or that the guy who runs it is, well, a shyster.
A mention here to Guardian Home Exchange which would be a good bit for North Americans wanting to go to the UK, as the overwhelming number of listings are in the UK. You want a service that maximizes your personal chances for success. Before AlteCocker signed up with homeforexchange.com, she researched and noted that there were a lot more Europeans than US residents on the site--perfect for US residents, but less so if you live in Europe and want to come to the US.
There is a site called Know Your Trade that attempts to help us all out by comparing all the home exchange sites. AlteCocker has no idea how up to date its information is (one home exchange service told me the statistics were over 3 years out of date), but at least it is a start. See below for comments another newer site which has attempted to do the same thing. Other sites which say they are comparing the various sites have glaring omissions. If Homelink and Intervac are not on page 1--or admitted altogether--beware. The statistics on the other alleged comparison sites appear to be totally inaccurate as well; in fact AlteCocker wonders if some of these sites aren't taking baksheesh to promote some of the services ballyhooed. The array of exchange services, each claiming to be the "best", can be daunting to even experienced exchangers. After her bad experience with homeexchange.com, this AlteCocker stuck with the two services that have never failed her and abandoned looking into all the services that have popped up since then with the recent exception of homeFORexchange.com
If you have a fixed location in mind, you might want to research the home exchange site before signing up to see how many homes are actually in that location before signing up. Sign up with the service that has the most homes there. However, for some locations--such as Africa, Asia, and Latin America--home exchange does not really work at all due to the few listings. Eastern Europe also has relatively few homes listed as well.
2. Be open to all destinations. After 60 exchanges AlteCocker has been all over the US and Europe and done 3 trips combining multiple exchanges to Australia and New Zealand. Don't get overly focused on big international cities. Even if you really want Paris, be open to alternatives. Ever try driving in a large city to get to a side trip out of town? It can be much easier if you are in the suburbs. Chances are you are not going to get an apartment next to The Louvre if you score Paris. You'll be outside the city or on the edge of it--where most people live (and you certainly will not get a pool; in Paris many live in large closets compared to American size apartments). See that photo of me above? AlteCocker is hiking in Finland. Her exchange that year was in Lahti, Finland--an hour north of Helsinki. A friend of my exchangers--with whom AlteCocker is still in contact--arranged the hike. To explore Helsinki, AlteCocker booked a hotel room there for a few days before returning home. AlteCocker had a great time and was very lucky to get the exchange because compared to the US, very few people live in Finland.
3. Do not expect equity. An equivalent to a large American home is not what you will get in Europe. Most of homes there are smaller than the norm in North America--and they certainly do not have as many bathrooms--or air conditioning. AlteCocker, in fact, has never had a home in Europe with air conditioning--and even in large hotels it is often not up to American standards. The showers often have lousy pressure and can spray water all over the bathroom. In Europe homes often have washers (usually teeny), but the dryer is the clothes line. What are you doing in Europe anyway? You will not be having a wedding or bar mitzvah in your home exchange home. You are exchanging locations for tourism. Home exchange vacations are a combination of heavy tourism, exploring the town you end up in and just hanging out when you get too exhausted.
4. If you are going to Europe, know how to drive a shift car. While automatics are more common in Europe than they used to be, manuals are still the norm. Chances are you will be shifting and it is a lot easier if you know to do it in advance. Take it easy with the car for the first few days until you get the hang of it. It might be a left hand shift in the UK. AlteCocker even had one of those in Australia where automatics are the norm.
5. Be a self starter. Believe me, everyone has nerves at the beginning of a home exchange--even experienced exchangers. You won't have a concierge to turn to when something goes wrong--and things will go wrong. AlteCocker does remember fixing a French shower once. Since she has basic home repair skills, the hardest bit was finding the tools. If there is a car problem (more common than a home repair problem), you will have to find out where to repair it. In Salamanca AlteCocker had to arrange for her own car in the US to be jump started because the French people left something on in the car and ran down the battery (she started an insurance claim with her insurer over the internet and then had a neighbor call the insurance company with the claim number). There is no car rental company to call to switch cars--and not all exchangers will provide you with complete information. In Europe your car might not be as large, moreover, as the one you have at home (and you will pay a lot more for gas).
6. Be prepared to get lost finding your home after you've been out on an excursion. In the days before GPS, this is always the first thing that happened on every exchange. In 2012 in Norway, with a street that had complicated access, it took AlteCocker an hour to find the house. Thank goodness for a friendly neighborhood lady or she might still be driving around looking for that house. It should have taken me 5 minutes. There are plenty of signs for tourist attractions but none that say, "Turn left. You live there." Also be prepared to get confused on smaller roads in the countryside that are not as well marked--especially if driving at night. Overall, though, signage is better in Europe than in the US. In 2013 AlteCocker finally licked the "getting lost" problem by purchasing a European GPS for about $200. Please note that rental car agencies often charge 15 euros a day to rent a GPS.
7. If you have children, look for other families with children your ages. AlteCocker does remember her son running through a house in Nova Scotia to claim the bedroom with the video game system. You want the house to fit your family. Many retired people will not exchange with families. AlteCocker is not one of those because she thinks it is too limiting and she would miss out on a lot of deals if she did that. She no longer, however, favors exchanges with those who have babies or toddlers because she simply does not have the equipment and families of very young children really would not be happy in her home for that reason. School age children are fine so long as her exchange family understands there are no toys or video games here (although still tons of stuffed animals which they are welcome to take--all of them). People with babies should exchange with others with babies. They can cart a lot less "stuff" that way. In 2014 AlteCocker wanted a home in Italy near Venice so she accepted a baby--and went through the job of gathering things for them (e.g., a crib would be borrowed from neighbors). Then they cancelled. She is just not doing the 0-4 kids anymore.
8. The more demands you put on your exchangers, the harder it will be to get an exchange. AlteCocker does not do cats and dogs. She was once even asked about a horse! She doesn't do horses either. The most AlteCocker will do is throw fish food in a tank and fish out the dead ones with a net (pun intended) and flush. Period. For AlteCocker pet care is a deal breaker. If you want pet care, look for people with similar needs--and do not "spring" pets on people at the last minute. She will also not exchange for vacation (secondary) homes that are often full of cast off items or run down.
9. Include your car. In fact, unless she is in the center a major city with good public transportation, AlteCocker insists on a car. Without one, you will end up renting a car or being trapped in your home away from home. If you are an American, your insurance covers everyone driving a car with your permission. AlteCocker leaves a note in the glove box in case there is an accident. Your insurance could take a "hit" if an exchanger is responsible for an accident--and vice versa. Each party is responsible for the other party's deductible if there is an accident and you or your exchanger is at fault. By the way, AlteCocker does not inform her car insurance company unless something happens because this exchange thing makes them nervous--and she does a lot of home exchanges. The last "event" AlteCocker had was with a New Zealand family in 2008 when someone backed into her car in a parking lot. The car was repaired while AlteCocker was away and she dealt with as much as she could over the internet. At the end of the day, when money was collected from the other person's insurer, the New Zealanders even received money back on the deductible from AlteCocker, but it did take some months.
10. Build a good relationship with your exchange family. Some are good at email and some are not. Sometimes the poor communicators have poor English skills. Sometimes, however, the poor communication is a result of people having second thoughts about exchanging; if you think that is going on, don't be shy about confronting the exchangers; the last thing you want is a cancellation after you have nonrefundable airline tickets. Write in simple English and, remember, you generally speak their language less well than they speak English. If the communication is good, you will get over the feeling that the exchangers are strangers by the time of the exchange. They will turn from strangers to friends--even if you never meet them.
11. Do a comprehensive book on your home so that, if something happens, home exchangers will know who to call. After 60 exchanges, there have been misadventures with home repairs and cars on both ends. It helps to have a list of whom to call for what, so that you don't end up with frantic emails and telephone calls. Leaving 2-3 pages with incomplete instructions (and that has happened to AlteCocker several times) is just not fair to your exchangers. Leaving unrepaired quirky appliances is not kosher either--and they will only cause a flurry of email during the exchange. Even the best maintained homes can have unexpected problems, but deal with the problems you know about IN ADVANCE; if a hot water heater, for example, constantly turns itself off, fix or replace it. If an appliance is "quirky" explain, for example, that the washing machine door may have to be pushed an extra time before the washer starts. Don't wait for the frantic email about needing a repairman. Know it well that appliances overseas work differently from those in North America. And please leave directions for complicated TV systems with a number of remotes. They cause so many problems.
12. Consider doing an exchange within your own country first. AlteCocker has a theory that no 2 European washers work the same way (same for the toilets). Europeans will be similarly confused by yours. Make it easy for yourself. Especially with children, it is far easier (and cheaper) to schlep them to someplace within your own country rather than pay hefty international airfares to get your feet wet. OK, AlteCocker went to England the first time, but she should have taken her own advice here.
13. Be prepared for problems. Not every home is what AlteCocker would call clean. Total slobs and obsessive compulsive cleaners really should not be in the home exchange business. AlteCocker is what she call "relaxedly clean". That is what you should be too if you are going to be successful at this. You should clean your home thoroughly before the exchange. AlteCocker does not mean dumping out every drawer in the kitchen and scrubbing it. AlteCocker has had some really unacceptable homes. Recently she had a home in Sydney, Australia, where the clothes drying rack was placed in an unused jacuzzi. OK, AlteCocker wasn't planning to use the jacuzzi, but the bottom of the jacuzzi was absolutely full of dead flies that clearly had been there for a long time; if clothes fell off the rack they would join the dead flies. Yuk. AlteCocker did not clean out the flies. She moved the clothes drying rack into the living room and dried her clothes there, but the dead flies should have been cleaned up (and, if necessary, the exterminator called) before the exchange. Once the exchange begins, however, you are stuck if you get a "dead fly"/dirty place--and all experienced exchangers have stories like this. If a so-called "home exchange expert" says that she has never had a problem in a dozen or so exchanges, she is not getting out much--or, worse, is lying to promote a specific home exchange service or herself. In Australia, AlteCocker got out of the house and went sightseeing and simply ignored what she did not like. She would not, of course, give the house a good reference if ever asked.
14. Do not put too much faith in the photos people put up on their listing pages. No one's home looks bad in the photos. Packrats move the junk to one side and take a photo. Then they move the junk to the other side and take a photo. When you get to the house, you see all the junk. All houses, presumably, have beds, kitchens, showers/baths and toilets. Quite frankly, AlteCocker does not even look at the photos until after an exchange has been agreed to. Small or large, she doesn't care. She is looking for location. If the house isn't perfect, well AlteCocker has stayed in a lot of imperfect hotels. No number of photos will tell her whether or not the people are clean--which is a greater concern to AlteCocker than whether they have new furniture, stylish antiques or a newly redone kitchen. The photos also do not reveal whether the home is need of major repairs either. You find that out only after you arrive. Personally, AlteCocker really doesn't "get" people who take expensive international vacations and do not fix major problems their homes, but it does happen. People simply have different priorities.
15. Try dealing with an experienced home exchange partner the first time. Many of them do not want to be bothered with new people, but experienced exchangers will walk you through the process--and deal with your case of "first timer nerves". AlteCocker deals with new people all the time even though they can drive her crazy. That's one reason she is posting this. She'll have a place for them to go to where the advice is all in one place--and she won't have to deal with the same questions over and over again. AlteCocker's home exchangers in Taby, Sweden, in 2012 were new and nervous. There were a lot of emails. With one exchange under your belt, you will be helping others.
16. Don't get fixated on one location. If you must get Tuscany or Provence in August, rent a place. People that live in those locations either use their places in August or rent them out for hefty fees. There are plenty of other places you go. Europeans tend to fixate on Manhattan or San Francisco (much as Americans fixate on Paris and London). Home exchange depends on mutual need. People in Manhattan get inundated with offers. Expand your sights to Long Island, New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania & Massachusetts. Then do a short hotel stay in NYC if you must and do not get an exchange in NYC.
Living in the Washington, DC, area, as AlteCocker does, she get plenty of offers, but she always says that she gets the overflow from Manhattan. Many people living in Manhattan, by the way, live in condominiums or cooperatives whose rules usually prevent sublets and home exchanges. Europeans are going to have to take another look at the suburbs and/or other locations because there are simply few available places in New York City that are available. None of my home exchangers have ever gotten an exchange in New York City--although they all have tried. AlteCocker refers them to a hotel I like that is reasonable: The Pod Hotel. They all end up there if they must spend time in New York City. Personally, AlteCocker has tried to get a short (1-2 week) home exchange in New York City for years without success herself.
While foreigners are obsessed with New York, of course, Americans are obsessed with Paris. If you don't get Paris, look for other destinations. Paris will come your way eventually--perhaps when you have abandoned looking for it. Yes, AlteCocker has been to Paris--the year when she was looking to go to the US' Pacific Northwest.
17. Do not despair if you live in a less touristed location. Do you have a lake where children could go swimming? How about tennis and golf? Many people just want to relax on vacation and not run around all over checking off tourist sites. Every location has advantages and plenty to do for a week or two. Isn't there a reason why you live where you do? AlteCocker is always looking for places she has not been within the US. How about Missouri? You could visit the Mark Twain sites. She has wanted an exchange there for years for just that reason, but it has never happened. New Orleans anyone? AlteCocker has never been there either.
18. Be prepared for a lot of rejections and people who cannot make up their minds. You should respond to all email even to just decline, but many do not. It can be very frustrating for first timers as they learn the ropes, but home exchange depends on mutual need. AlteCocker estimates that only one in 10 of her inquiries results in an indication of interest. Most on Homelink and Intervac will respond even if to say "no thanks". At this point, after many years of exchanging, AlteCocker rarely takes the initiative because she is lazy, but just picks and chooses from those who write to her; she also crafts her listing to attract deals that she may want. Home exchanges can come in at any time and she jumps on it right away if it is interesting. Her recent deal in Martinique happened that way--a surprise exchange. He who hesitates, loses the exchange. Intervac does have a nice feature where you can see who has been visiting your page. AlteCocker sometimes writes to the "lookers" to see if they are really interested. Most don't turn into exchanges, but occasionally one does.
19. Consider "local" exchanges where everyone drives. AlteCocker loves those, but few are interested. She has been to Colonial Williamsburg 3 times; Ottawa, Ontario; Myrtle Beach, South Carolina; a couple of destinations in Massachusetts and Halifax, Nova Scotia. Because everyone drives, "local" exchanges are almost cost free vacations, and--unlike ones that involve airfare--can be set up even at the last minute. They are also easy to cancel if the weather does not cooperate or someone gets sick (something retired people with long term problems need to consider).
20. Cancellations do happen. Cancelling after nonrefudable airline tickets are purchased is not kosher. No matter what the excuse, you need to find alternative accommodations for your exchange family if illness prevents you from going. AlteCocker had this situation in 2012 when a previously fractured and repaired arm decided to spontaneously refracture 10 days before the vacation. The options weren't pretty, but she postponed major surgery until after the trip and went to Scandinavia with a broken arm. She had 2 home exchange families depending upon her and she wasn't willing to cost them piles of money by walking out on the deals. AlteCocker never would consider stiffing her exchangers because a home exchange vacation is not a normal vacation where you can cancel and reschedule. You have a responsibility to the other family or families. It wasn't the best way to have a vacation with an unset fractured arm in a sling, but it was cheaper than cancelling AlteCocker's end of the trip and moving out of her home so the other families could have their vacations. Surgery occurred as soon as she returned.
If you are interested in further information about home exchanging, please check here for long term home exchanges, here for information on how to find your home exchange, here for how to prepare your home for exchange, and here for the nasty side of home exchanging. For an amusing take on home exchanging, check out this piece on the nomadwallet site. Why is AlteCocker pushing someone else's piece? Blah. It contains an interview of AlteCocker.
AlteCocker will come back and add things as she thinks of them, but do get started. The time is now to start looking for the summer of 2016 if you want to exchange overseas; in fact, you may already be late to the party. AlteCocker has her deals for July-August 2016 (Iceland and Italy) as well is a 2 weeker in California in April. AlteCocker never stops looking. One day you have nothing. The next you have great deals. She will be going to Iceland and Italy--a crazy combination but she has never had a combination where the exchanges are next to one another.
A blog has been added to the end of this page so that you can discuss specific home exchange issues here: blog.
On Facebook, AlteCocker has established a home exchange discussion group that will not include anyone who works for a home exchange service. It does without saying, that the site is for serious discussions and not for people who want to throw barbs at others. It can be found here.